Christ Community Church of Mooresville

“Variety is the spice of life!”

Nothing kills a relationship quicker than apathy. When both partners stop trying, stop growing, stop pursuing, stop pleasing, stop serving, you find yourself in a rut where you’ve become more like roommates than helpmates!

Today, get your relationship out of the same old rut and back onto the highway of growth. Kick apathy out of your way and be a servant-lover today by bringing some variety. Show your partner you still care and want to grow by praying together, do a household chore your spouse hates, sit beside each other at dinner, snuggle and hold hands while you watch tv, write a sexy email to your husband telling him you can’t wait for tonight when you can share God’s gift of intimacy (after all God made sex for marriage). Bring some variety today and spice up your life!

“Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.” – Sir Winston Churchill

Every battle has casualties becase every battle has an enemy. The problem in relationship conflicts occurs when we forget the true identity of our enemy which causes us to inflict casualties on the wrong person.

Paul said that we “fight and wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against powers and principalities…”. Our war and battle isn’t against our spouse or the person we are dating! We need to war against Satan and make sure any casualties of war through the arena of conflict are against him.

Today, or the next time you have a conflict, make sure you don’t say anything that attacks or wounds the other person. Battle Satan by warring as a team agaisnt the problem. Attack the problem and Satan rather than each other. When you work things out without wounding each other, you thwart our real enemy and go on the offensive against him.

“7 For I solemnly warned your fathers when I brought them up out of the land of Egypt, warning them persistently, even to this day, saying, Obey my voice.8 Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but everyone walked in the stubbornness of his evil heart. Therefore I brought upon them all the words of this covenant, which I commanded them to do, but they did not.” – Jeremiah 11:7-8

Jeremiah was God’s messenger to tell the nation of Judah to examine their lives and turn back to God. He wanted them to learn from the nation of Israel’s punishment and avoid the same mistakes. More than anything, God wanted His people to interact with Him personally and let Him lead and orchestrate their lives instead of allowing circumstances and other gods to steal their worship.

Do you see in the verses above, God’s heart’s desire is that we hear, we listen, and we obey. That is what Him being Lord means. It is ignoring our own selfish ways, thoughts, and desires, and being led by the Spirit to in every moment.

Today I want to challenge you to listen for God’s voice about your dating relationship or marriage. What is He trying to say to you about your relationship? What needs to grow? What needs to change? How do you need to encourage today? What act of love or words or time do you need to excercise today as you listen and obey His voice instead of your normal way? Today, after you have heard from Him what you need to say or do, go for it with all you have!

“9 What is your beloved more than another beloved, O most beautiful among women? What is your beloved more than another beloved, that you thus adjure us?
10 My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand.11 His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven.12 His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk, sitting beside a full pool.13 His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs. His lips are lilies, dripping liquid myrrh.14 His arms are rods of gold, set with jewels. His body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires.15 His legs are alabaster columns, set on bases of gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars.16 His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.” – Song of Solomon 5:9-16

One of the greatest ways to neutralize an argument when you are fearful, hurt, or wronged is to switch your focus off of the issue and onto what you love about your partner. This is an awesome perspective builder when you are caught up in the moment.

So don’t wait! Today, make a list of the things you love about your partner and why you are glad God gave him/her to you. Then, you will be prepared with ammo the next time you are in a conflict. You will be able to take a minute, reflect on that list, get perspective of your whole relationship and not just the immediate conflict, and address your concerns in a healthy way!

“15 Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.” – Song of Solomon 2:15

The future bride in this relationship is looking at their current and future life together and she has some concerns.
The word fox there is imagery of something that would come in and cause hurt, wrong, fear, and if unchecked, ruin in their bidding relationship.

She is challenging him to examine their relationship and see problems when they are small and to reject passivity to address them head-on. This way the small foxes don’t turn into big foxes.

In your relationship today, are there any foxes you need to address? Maybe they are small, but they can turn into big things. Address them head-on in a spirit of love today with your partner, having the goal of reconciliation, not just to get an apology. Then be on the lookout, ready to spot conflicts before they start so you can catch foxes like Solomon.

I missed yesterday’s tip! I was cleaning out the old storage shed with some church members and ran out of time. I hope today’s makes up for it by bringing a big result.

“This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love the more they give, the more they possess.”

by Rainer Maria Rilke

One of the greatest ways to grow a lifelong love is to display your love for one another. The quote above is so true, “the more you give, the more you will possess”. So today be bold in displaying your love both in public and in private.

Men: Find a way today in public and in private to declare your love for your lady. Maybe you could have your own “I love this woman” screaming moment from the commercials a few years ago. Then find a way to display your love in private. Maybe you write her a note, give a backrub, or bring a little present home with no strings attached.

Women: Find a way to appropriately display your love today. If you are married, nothing is off limits, in fact, the Lord said every physical expression of love between a husband and wife is good! So show him you love him in a way that will speak volumes to him and make the rest of the world and it’s problems fade away. If you are dating, show your love with a hug, a kiss, or some cuddle time. Then do a thoughtful gesture that shows you care deeply and were thinking of a way to make him feel special.

Intimacy is important to men and women! We just interpret intimacy differently. Go back and read Song of Solomon 2:1-14 to see how this couple grew in intimacy.

Men: Today, get to know your lady in a deeper way. Remember that knowing what type of deodorant she wears doesn’t make you intimate, it just makes you familiar. Ask her these questions to build intimacy…

- If we could go on vacation anywhere in the world, money being no object, where would you pick?

- What is a funny story about you that I don’t know?

- What do you feel like is going well in out lives right now? What is an area we can work on?

- Where would you like to see our family five or ten years from now financially, relationally, and spiritually?

Women: Men want a partner with whom they can experience life. We want intimacy through shared adventure. We need a comrad on our team who’s ready to take on life, quench any enemy together, and live life to the fullest.

Today plan an adventure to share with your man. It doesnt have to be something costly. Make it something out of the ordinary that you can look forward to. It doesn’t have to happen today, just plan something today and tell him you did so. You can share the plans with him or keep the a surprise, but let him know you want to spend some time doing something together.

I’ve tried to send this blog post out three times now and it keeps getting shut down. Satan must really not want you to hear this. So make sure you read it and live it out today!

Yesterday we looked at “Love’s Miracle Grow” and some tips to grow a lifelong love. This week my love tips will be broken down into tips for men and tips for women. Remember, these things are ways we can show the love of Jesus by choosing to love in these ways regardless of the other person’s performance. This is how Christ loved us, so we can imitate Him in truest form.

Men: Today, be a shadow of protection to your lady and let her lean on and find rest in you.

If she has been struggling with her body image, tell her how beautiful she is. Pick one of her features and just rave about it.

If she is having a tough day, be there emotionally. Tell her you are ready to listen without distractions and you won’t offer her your “fixes” unless she asks.

Protect her spiritually today by spending intentional time praying for her, then tell her you did so. If you want to take it to the next level, identify areas where she is being attacked spiritually today and help her come against them outloud in Jesus’ name. Be her warrior today.

Women: Nothing makes your guy feel like he can conquer the world than you believing in him.

Find a way to encourage him today. Tell him something he is great at doing or something you admire or appreciate about him.

If he has let you or the family down in the past and not protected you emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc., then purpose in your heart to forgive him today.

If he is helping with the kids or around the house, but it is different than the way you would do it, choose not to start an argument today. Release some control, allow him to lead, and remember different isn’t always wrong.

This Sunday, we said that love, dating, marriage, and even sex is a gift from God to be lavished for a lifetime.

Today, think of a tangible gift you can give to your partner to express your love and say you were thinking about him/her. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It could be their favorite candy bar, or cost nothing at all by giving them a footrub. Lavish your love with a gift today!

Life is full of distractions isn’t it? In our world, instant response is not just appreciated but expected. We are distracted by errands, homework, kids, tv, phone calls, email, etc. While I have been writing this blog post, I’ve had four phone calls and who knows how many emails.

In a world like that, everyone of us appreciates someone who cares enough to put all the distractions away and focus solely on us for a moment. In “Twenty Things I Need To Tell My Wife”, the #8 thing is, “I want to hear what you have to say.”

Today, become an oasis of presence by being wholly present when your spouse is around. Have a five minute conversation today where the other person is the only one in the world at that moment. Ask about work and really listen. Ask how you can pray for him/her. Be at full attention during every conversation and don’t do anything else that might distract you. Show your love and your partner’s importance today by putting away distractions and being present!

Look at my little girl all grown-up in her hospital gown. She loved it because she thought she was playing dress-up.

She had a great appointment today. In fact, the only time she cried today at the doctor’s was when I told her we had to take the gown off because we couldn’t take it home.

She is so amazing! I thank God for giving Katie and me such awesome daughters. Tell your kids how much you love them today and share a funny story about them when they were little.

In Acts 4:36 the Bible tells us about a man who had a name-change. His given name was Joseph, but everyone called him by the character trait he most exhibited. Everyone called him Barnabas, which means Son of Encouragement, becasue he was always finding opportunities to lift others up.

In a relationship, it is often easy to start to see only the bad things people do rather than the things that made you adore them in the first place.

Today, read back through Song of Solomon 1 to see how Solomon was such an encourager to his soon-to-be bride. Then, take a moment to write your spouse or person you’re dating a note, email, or text to share with them just a few reasons why you love them.

Be an oasis of encouragement today!

“Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.” Nicholas Sparks

Today I want you to think of one thing you wouldn’t normally do to be an oasis of rest, like Song of Solomon 1 mentions, to show love through action. Maybe you give a backrub, take the kids out of the house so your partner can have some quiet, or take on a responsibility your spouse usually does!

Some people have said you really spell love T-I-M-E. Take time now at the beginning of the week to sit down with your spouse and look at this week’s schedule. Then prioritize some T-I-M-E with each other by scheduling a date this week. If you don’t plan it now, it probably won’t happen! Your marriage is worth it. Remember be an oasis of presence this week!

I came to the local coffee shop to spend some time in planning our new series starting Sunday, “The Song of Solomon Series”, but I felt from the Lord I just needed to spend some time with Him first.

I have been studying though the book of Isaiah in my quiet times so I picked up there and the Lord showed me something awesome I’d love to share.

Last week we had a meeting at the new building to discuss where the
Lord is leading us spiritually this year and to do some brainstorming together. I told you how the Lord had impressed on me this theme for the year about priorities: aligning our lives to match His. The idea that when we make our list of priorities, He shouldn’t come first, then family, etc. God wants to be preeminent over every area of life. He doesn’t want a place, He wants a position. He wants to be Lord. Lord over your job, your family, your thoughts, over everything.

So we talked about instead of focusing on a huge list of things we could do to become the church, we looked at who He wants us to BE as the church, realizing that things to do as the church will come out automatically when we are allowing Him to make us BE the church.

So in Isaiah 61:10-11 I read today in the coffee house an awesome promise that relates to us allowing God to realign our lives to match His priorities and agendas instead of our own.

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord; my soul shall exult in my God, for He has clothed me with the garments of salvation; he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth it’s sprouts, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to sprout up before all the nations. ”
- Isaiah 61:10-11

Do you see what He is saying. If we are believers, then He has planted salvation in our hearts. And if we just allow Him to be the Lord over every area of our lives and align our lives to match His priorities, then He will automatically cause the salvation He has planted in us to rise up not just for us to see or even those closest to us. But He says that if we as a church, a community of believers live like this, if this is who we are, then He will “cause righteousness and praise to sprout up before all the nations!”

If we “become” the church He has called us to be He will cause the salvation in us to sprout to those around us and they will see and praise God too!

What needs to change is you and me today to realign our lives to match up with God’s priorites? So that we become the church? So that we will see the salvation in us sprout up to imact our community an our world?